Kate Middleton's Hen Night Fairy Cakes

Is it true that Kate Middleton is planning a final night of freedom with the girls on Thursday?
If one spots her on Kensington High Street in a pink feather boa and cowboy hat with ‘Girls on Tour,’ across it – take the picture – one will never have to work again! Sources close to KM tell me that what the princess-in-waiting may do to calm the nerves is invite some of the ladies over for champagne and fairy cakes. Now you don’t need to be royal or marry a Prince to enjoy a fairy cake or a little fizz - Krug (Kate - Princess) or cava (me – wannabe princess - peasant).

Free Hugs!

Ok so I said New Yorkers could be a little abrupt and may be more interested in communicating via ipods rather than face to face with other human beings, but I take it all back. Look at what I snapped in Times Square last week... how cute is he? ...
For research purposes I watched him in action and - trust me - he was enthusiastic and relentless in his pursuit of hugging perfection  - and he didn't charge a cent. When was the last time you saw anything as heart-warming as that in Covent Garden?

 

Sex in the City Cupcakes

I couldn’t go to New York without visiting the holiest of cake shrines The Magnolia Bakery as featured in Sex in the City. Those of you who enjoyed the antics of Carrie and the girls will recall the three stone Sarah Jessica Parker enthusiastically thrusting a huge pink frosted cupcake into her gob while talking about her ‘crush’ Aiden. While Carrie (old enough to know better) took huge pink bites and banged on about ‘him’ like a thirteen year old, her bff Miranda (the red head) merely picked at her cake like a bird.
It’s fascinating that these two ultra glam, ultra slim gals ate their cakes in different ways – one like a bulimic, the other like a true anorexic - but one thing’s for sure – I bet neither of them ate anything but leaves for a whole week after that shoot! Anyway there was no such ‘picking’ or puking from moi as I danced (wobbled?) through the shop pointing at pastel confections and saying (in a loop) “and one of those.... and one of those please...and ....” I tried hard not to show my excitement by screeching and lunging - I went for a casual approach, like my whole life hadn’t been leading up to this moment.
I bought and consumed with gusto the rich and delectable chocolate and the lavender frosted vanilla, which was swiftly followed by the lusciously lemon frosted cupcake.....
Ok so that third one may have been a little much and the last few mouthfuls a bit touch and go, even for me - but lemon is April’s ‘cupcake of the month’ so it would have been rude not to...

The City that Always Tweets

Having just spent some time in New York, I can report that the new Magnolia Bakery in The Rockefeller Center is breathtaking, the Moon-sized Pizzas at Lombardi’s are still great - and the New York citizens are as rude as ever!

I will be recounting my tales from the city over the next few posts (yes, I’m one of those people who force you to look at my holiday photos and talk in detail about places and people you don’t know anything about – or want to. Some people call it self indulgence - I call it a blog!)

Hot Pussy!

Ok, so the more cynical blog reader may presume that in a desperate bid to gain more traffic I am now resorting to dubious double-entendre post titles. Shame on you!

Having said that – I am prepared to overlook the initial intentions of anyone who has stumbled into my world of weight and cake while on the never ending quest for internet porn. After all, it's a tough world out there and traffic is traffic whatever your tastes in blogging (or porn) may be. So if you put ‘Hot Pussy’ into your search engine and found me here  - I accept you may not necessarily be seeking light and wisdom through cheesecake - but I doubt you’ll be able to resist this piccy of my exhausted pussy  - who finds this warmer weather all too much!

Harry is Hot Stuff!

Desperately Seeking Sunshine

So finally we’re getting it in synch... warm weather AND weekend. Hurrah!
So as kids scream on trampolines, teenagers flash bejewelled tummies and mums lie in back gardens dropping their bra straps like ageing page 3 models, my thoughts turn – to cheesecake. I will have no truck with awkward moves on sunloungers to get a bit of colour (or cancer), skirts hitched up to the thighs desperately seeking sunshine. I have no need of such base pleasures because I have my own brand of sunshine and colour – in the irresistible form of ‘Helen’s Lime Cheesecake,’  thee most easiet, deliciousest and zestiest cheesecake recipe I’ve ever made or tasted.

I have an almost Pavlovian response to sunny weekends when it comes to this particular combination of illicit calories. And as the weekend sun rises, I have been known to salivate gently (and not inelegantly, never inelegantly) at the thought of spicy lime and rich, sweet cream on top of crunchy biscuits...
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