Pink Wellies, Flat Caps and Someone Else's Snickers Bar

I recently read a very funny book – Pink Wellies and Flat Caps and just knew that the author would be my kinda gal. So having enjoyed a lovely session of book chat, coffee, cake (and a 'mix-up' over Maltesers) at her place, I invited the fabulous Lynda Renham over to mine. My mission was to discover her writing secrets, over copious coffee and cake.

 

Lynda's latest book is the best-selling 'Pink Wellies and Flat Caps,' and tells the hilarious tale of Alice Lane, who has everything; a wonderful fiancé, a responsible job and a lovely flat in Chelsea, but after a bra fitting her life goes tits up. Homeless, and with just a sparkling engagement ring as a memory of her previous life Alice accepts a live-in farm manager's job and discovers that things actually can get worse. I was intrigued to know how Lynda saw Alice, so my first probing question was;

Lynda, I love Alice who is feisty, funny and bright. The character is so well written I felt like I was alongside her during her adventures in the country. So if Hollywood called tomorrow and optioned the book for a film, who would you like to play the part of Alice?

If Hollywood called tomorrow, the lost likely scenario is that I would drop dread from a heart attack and would never get to shout ‘Emily Blunt.’ In my mind I have no doubt that it should be her. I adored her performance in ‘The Devil Wears Prada’ and she is so versatile. She would be perfect and of course we would become best friends J Most importantly she is British and would understand the British humour.

 

Yes, I can definitely see Emily Blunt in the role, she would encapsulate the vulnerability, intelligence and fun of Alice.  It seems you have always been a writer, and were writing stories as a child. So when was the moment you decided to write your first novel?

When I was nineteen and I still have the original draft copy in a chest in our summer house. I have written many since then and have numerous unpublished novels knocking about the house. The moment I decided to go for it with comedy was after my humorous blog took off. I had just returned from Turin where I had gone to attend a wedding and where along with my mother in law we transported a wedding cake. From this whole experience a small germ of an idea was transplanted and later became ‘Wedding Cake to Turin’ My first comedy romance.

What a lovely story and around Italy too - such a romantic setting. So, your next book can you tell us what it’s about, what’s inspired you to write this, and when we can get our hands on a copy?

Ooh, always reluctant to talk about WIP. But I can say that there is a monkey involved, a few East End Gangsters, lots of misunderstandings and a touch of Downton Abbey and of course a gorgeous hero.

Sounds great! I know what you mean it’s always difficult to talk about a new book because you don’t want to give anything away – yet at the same time you can’t wait to share it with everyone. But with all that potential hilarity and a delicious hero, it sounds like a winner already.

The hero is definitely the most gorgeous yet I think…the book’s out in September and of course it also contains a huge amount of comedy.

I can’t wait! So while you’re slaving over a computer and spending afternoons busy with gorgeous heroes at your writing desk, what do you nibble on?

Whatever I can get my hands on… I even stole the builder’s Snickers bar from the fridge when they were building our extension.  I would also buy them doughnuts and then steal one or two for myself. Shameful but necessary for the creative juices to flow…

Absolutely! And as I always say, if it’s someone else’s chocolate it’s someone else’s calories.

Stolen Snickers Bar

So apart from other people’s food calling from your fridge what keeps you awake at night?

Guilt at the number of doughnuts I’ve eaten that day and whether a spider may run over my face, as happened once, and oh yes the plot of my novel, of course…

Ah yes, doughnuts... but let's not be side-tracked by soft dough yielding to wickedly sharp yet sugary sweet raspberry jam - as can so easily happen. No we'll stay with writing...we will... for now. Back to books; a plot can cause many sleepless nights until it’s firmly nailed down and what with a fear of spiders and Snickers calling from the fridge I can see you may have your work cut out. So who is your favourite writer? Have any writers inspired your own pen?

I have many. Iris Murdoch I particularly admire as was lucky to meet her husband John Bayley and see her study. A new favourite writer is Kimberley Chambers, a good friend. I am a huge fan of Salman Rushdie, Jo Carnegie, and Ronni Cooper. My writing has been more inspired by films than by books and Richard Curtis I admire greatly.

Yes I am also inspired by films and as a writer of romantic comedy I can see how Richard Curtis films (Bridget Jones, Love Actually, Notting Hill etc) would be the perfect inspiration for you. Me too!

Do you have a favourite book or books?

Several. ‘The Heart Listens’ by Helen Van Slyke. I never forgot the main protagonist Elizabeth Quigley. ‘End of the Affair’ Graham Green. ‘Calico Palace’ by Gwen Bristow and ‘Blood Secrets’ by Craig Jones. I also loved ‘The Feud’ by Kimberley Chambers and ‘The Sea The Sea’ by Iris Murdoch.

Talking of favourite books, one of mine is Stephen King’s psychological thriller, ‘Misery.’ Paul Sheldon the novelist in the book has various rituals while writing and on completion of each novel indulges in a cigarette to celebrate. Do you have a special treat you enjoy when you finish that final sentence?

Not really because it is quite a worry knowing if it will be received well…But if it does go well, however, we would celebrate with some bubbly.

That sounds perfect! So until the new book is completed and you open that bubbly, more coffee? It’s been so delicious sharing cake and some of your writing secrets Lynda so while I put the kettle on, here’s a final, silly but extremely vital question; if you were a cake, what would you be?

A fruitcake, in fact sometimes my husband thinks I am one!

Ha ha... that reminds me, do help yourself to another fairy cake... and thanks so much for joining me.

 

To read more about Lynda go to her blog here.

http://lrcook.wordpress.com/tag/lynda-renham/

Facebook http://www.facebook.com/lynda.cook

Follow her onTwitter https://twitter.com/Lyndarenham

And if you want to know more about Pink Wellies and Flat Caps (how could you not?)  Then pop over to Amazon

 

The Wind Beneath my Bingo Wings!

One evening last week when I should have been ironing or cleaning the cooker (or poking my eyes out with rusty nails), I was lying on the sofa eating a Twix and texting my BFF. Like a teenager, I was telling her (between bites of shortcake and toffee chocolate) what a fat pig I am and how I'd never be slim for summer. I’d gained five pounds over Easter weekend was now the size of a small car and between mouthfuls of chocolate was bemoaning the fact that I’d eaten my own weight in Easter eggs.  This year my beach wear would as usual involve 400 yards of black jersey, accessorized with a large ice-cream and a deep resentment for bikini bodies.

I’ve known my friend Lesley since we were sixteen, and if texting had been invented then I reckon our texts would have been exactly the same as they are now. The stuff that concerned us then worries us still and the dynamic between us hasn't changed. Over the years we’ve taken part in the narrative of each other’s lives - a narrative often driven by weight, and how to lose it. Like most women, I can tell you what I weighed on my wedding day, but the day I passed my Driving Test? Oh yes, and the day I was dumped and every high day and holiday in between. I’m like a fat memory man – give me a date and I’ll tell you what I weighed on that day in that year... sadly, I could probably give it to you in minutes and ounces! 
 
Recently, Lesley and I had a late night ‘life retrospective’ with a mountain  of nibbles and a fountain of wine. We dug out some of our old college/holiday photos and I covered my face waiting for the terrible sight of my teenage self. Ok I’d had a lot of red wine, but as we went through them I was amazed at the two young women with healthy figures and happy faces looking back through the years. We weren't skinny or stunningly beautiful, but we weren't the fat, ugly, beasts we'd spent our youth believing we were. It reminded me of a famous actress I once worked with who said every time she saw herself on the TV she was amazed at how gorgeous she was twenty years before. ‘If only I’d realised that then,” she said. So where did we get the idea we were unworthy? Unloveable? And why did we spend our teens telling ourselves we weren’t thin enough or pretty enough and continue to do so throughout our twenties and thirties and beyond?
It made me think of a line from that lovely old American sit com The Golden Girls, when Bea says;"She was in her twenties... at that age you're pretty even if you aren't pretty..."
And it’s so true, but the irony is, you only realise this profound truth when you are too old to feel pretty anymore!
 

 
        'When we was Fat' - Lesley and I aged 18 - both covering our (non-existent) tummies.

Anyway, we’ve both been up and down on the scales over the years, but in the past 12 months Lesley has lost a lot of weight.  She's always been a bright, intelligent, attractive woman, but now she can add slim to that list - and I couldn’t be more proud of her. I too have lost some weight (doing 5:2, more of that in later posts) but am struggling with two tortuous stone, hence my Twix munching text to tell her I’d put on five pounds; "I'm so fed up about it I'm going to have a rest from dieting," I texted, like a petulant teenager; "I need to speed up my metabolism so I'm ‘resting’ my diet for a few days."

Lesley’s text came back. “Why?”

That made me stop and think (I even paused with the Twix... for about 4 seconds). I then carried on munching until the next text:

“Why are you going to spend the next few days overeating? It's nothing to do with your metabolism, you have just eaten too much and if you carry on, you will just add another five pounds and have ten to lose next week. Don't do it.”  I grumbled a bit to myself, wiped the chocolate from my mouth, finished off the Twix (I hate waste) and mounted that exercise bike (not pretty, but necessary).

While pedalling away I thought about how my whole life so far has been influenced by what I weigh. But on the flip side it’s also about the friends I’ve shared (and am still sharing) that fat journey with. It’s made us all the women that we are. We may struggle and sweat and crucify ourselves over a cake, but essentially we’re healthy and can laugh at ourselves and our flaws and we don’t take life too seriously. And you know that’s not all bad.

If I’d never felt fat I may never have started chatting to Lesley somewhere in the eighties in the college canteen (our first conversation involved the calories in that day's pie). She is my oldest friend, and we’ve been through love, laughs, loss and many millions of calories since then. We don't live as close as I'd like to any more, but we're always in touch and she’s been there for me and (I hope) I have for her too. I feel sorry for anyone who doesn’t have a friend like Lesley in their lives - along with so much more, this girl carried my 3 tier wedding cake up 2 flights of stairs because she didn’t trust anyone else to do it – that’s what I call a friend!

Scarily, though Lesley sometimes knows me better than I know myself and she knew my text wasn’t about ‘resting’ my diet and I knew damn well it wasn't my metabolism either - I was really asking for her permission to binge. And as my true friend, who has my interests at heart, she wasn’t prepared to give me that.

So I listened to my friend and took her advice. I have suspended my love affair with the Twix and am now in the process of working through the painful separation with dignity. I spent ten days eating healthily, got that five pounds off, will keep to a healthy eating plan and with any luck and a lot of will power will be wearing a little less on the beach this summer. And I'm not doing this for vanity, or because I want to look like Kate Moss as I did in my youth - I'm doing this for me and my health.

Our lives have moved on, we're grown ups comfortable in our own bodies and we aren't 16 anymore, but my best friend will always be the wind beneath my bingo wings!

... almost thirty years and millions of calories later, she's still the wind beneath my bingo wings.

 

 

 

 

Fat Girls and Fairy Cakes and of course Maltesers

Best-selling rom com author Lynda Renham interviewed me on her blog recently. We talked books, baking and being size ten. Look out for my interview with Lynda coming soon.

Posted on April 17, 2013 by lyndarenham
 

Meeting Sue Watson

 

There is nothing I enjoy more than talking to other writers. I love hearing about their writing process. And today I am chatting to the lovely Sue Watson. I’ve had to hide all the chocolate mind you and put a lock on the fridge but apart from that it has been an enjoyable experience having her on my blog. Sue is one very funny lady and if you haven’t read her book ‘Fat Girls and Fairy Cakes’ then I suggest you pop over to Amazon right now and download it onto your Kindle. You won’t regret it.



So with no further ado, let’s crack on shall we and meet the lovely Sue. But be warned hide your Maltesers. She’s already gone through my stash.
First question to ask Sue after plying her with coffee is of course,

What made you first decide to write a novel? And have you always wanted to be a writer?
I’d always wanted to write a novel, from being quite young, but I’m quite lazy and the idea of sitting down and writing 100,00 words plus was too daunting. I’d always been a writer in that I was a journalist before I became a TV Producer. And when it became clear there was a novel bubbling away in my head it was only a matter of time before I had to write it. Working in TV was great fun, I met some amazing people and had some hilarious times – and now I write about it. I still dabble in TV, and particularly enjoy working on ideas for new programmes but the novel writing has won through and that’s my main job now.

And we are thrilled it is too. Now I don’t know about other writers but when I get stuck, which seems to be often lately, the first place to get raided is the fridge. I’d love to say it was the fruit bowl but hey… So is Sue a girl after my own heart?
So Sue, what is your biggest indulgence when writing. We’re all hoping you say chocolate to
make us all feel less guilty? 

While writing, I eat only a few organic salad leaves and a litre of water.

Oh no! I needn’t have locked the fridge and maybe it wasn’t Sue who nabbed my Malteses. I take it all back…

As if! Unfortunately working from home means I’m far too close to the fridge – and as I like my chocolate cold… well, you can probably guess the rest.

What a relief, huh girls?
Now for the question that always interests me. Computer or pen and paper and why?

Oh definitely a computer for ‘proper’ writing. I couldn’t even write a sentence on pen and paper now. I sometimes wonder how I would have coped in the past before computers. I use a pen and paper for notes and if I’m out and about and suddenly have a great idea for a plot or character I stop everything to jot it down, or I’ll forget. I will often pull the car over and delve into the detritus of congealed sweets old tissues and melted chocolate in my handbag to hunt down my note book. Being quite disorganised I can never find it and end up scribbling ‘vital’ stuff on old receipts. Much of this ‘literary gold’ is of course lost forever when I clean out my handbag and forget that the screwed up, chocolate stained receipt contains the best plot I’ve ever written!

So budding writers begin scouring dustbins now and email me for my address. I need that ‘literary gold.’

Talking of literary gold, tell us about your current novel.

Described as ‘a story of love, loss, friendship and cakes,’ Fat Girls and Fairy Cakes is a romantic comedy about Stella Weston, a woman striving to be the perfect wife, the perfect mother and the perfect career girl. She’s also desperate for the perfect body and torn between a desire for slimness and a passion for cake! When Stella’s life is suddenly turned upside down, she turns to the mixing bowl for comfort, in the hope that zesty lemon sponge with frosting will give her the courage to face an uncertain and scary future.

Worth a read I reckon. But I’m curious to know if the main character is based on you.

They say write what you know and there’s a lot of me in Stella Weston (even our initials are the same). Like me she works in the world of TV, is struggling with life and feeling torn between all the roles imposed on her. I think as workers, wives, mothers and daughters all women feel this way at some point and I certainly relate to Stella and the problems she faces. We also share a sense of humour a love of baking and a futile desire to be size ten!

Shall we move on from the size 10? You know, before we find ourselves crying into our chocolate cupcakes. Let’s talk about something less depressing. Finally having a room of one’s own at last and not feeling in the least like Virginia Woolf, I couldn’t help wondering if Sue writes in a room of her own or somewhere completely different.

When I gave up my job at the BBC with a rather naive plan to write a novel I didn’t know if I’d ever get published and it felt a little premature to even buy a desk, so I wrote on the kitchen table. I like being there as I’m not cut off from the rest of the family and can get their input if necessary, however this is a double-edges sword and sometimes hard to concentrate. On days when I’m struggling with a scene or a character and everyone’s asking me stuff and making a racket I think Virginia Woolf was right – a woman does need a room of her own to write fiction! Of course there’s a major advantage to working in the kitchen too – close proximity to the fridge (for chocolate), the oven (for baking), and the kettle (for coffee), a writer’s most important equipment along with a computer!

I’m obviously doing it all wrong and am much too far away from the fridge. So, enough of the writing malarkey how about a little more about Sue Watson and her lovely family and pets.

Originally I’m from Manchester, I moved to London in my twenties and now live in Worcestershire with my journalist husband, Nick daughter Eve and two cats. Harry and Poppy our cats are the same age both 7 and both lovely in their own ways. Harry is a big furry moggy with weight issues and a weakness for cheese while Poppy is a pretty little black cat who chats a lot.
We did have a rather glamorous swishy tailed gold fish called Eddie. However, my daughter decided she was a girl, so we changed her name to Edina. At the age of 3, having been resuscitated several times by my husband (‘the fish whisperer’), Edina passed away peacefully in her sleep last year. We take comfort from the fact she lived a full, fish film star life in a large tank with her own underwater castle and regular supply of fishy nibbles.

Do you have a work in progress, something for us to look forward to? I heard something about Nepal, did you go there?

I have been working on my current novel ‘Younger, Thinner, Blonder,’ for almost two years. It’s due out in the Autumn and is the story of Tanya Travis, a daytime talk-show host who enjoys all the designer handbags and high end interiors that go with fame and money… until one day her life spirals out of control. In the novel, Tanya visits Nepal, which is somewhere I haven’t been, but would love to go to. And having done lots of research and spoken to many different people, I feel like I know it very well.
In the novel is a reality show, a gay actor, a sex-tape star, a couple of gorgeous guys and some very expensive shoes. Yep, it’s my usual cocktail of highbrow, intellectual, issue lead writing, but essentially a about love, fame and how what we want is often different from what we need. I hope it’s a novel that makes readers think – but not too much!

I’m thinking another one worth reading…Talking of reading, who are your favourite authors?

I have so many favourites, and though I love chick-lit I also love darker, edgier crime novels too. I loved ‘Gone Girl’ by Gillian Flynn and have just downloaded Sharp Objects by the same writer. I’ve also recently discovered a great writer called Lynda Renham and having thoroughly enjoyed her latest novel ‘Pink Wellies and Flat caps,’ have started the fabulously titled, ‘Coconuts and Wonderbras.’

Ooh *blushes furiously* While I go off to fan myself can you tell us your all-time favourite book?

Oh that’s sooo difficult! From Jane Austen to Khaled Hosseini I love many, many books, all very different and all great in their own way. Can I cheat this question a bit and tell you about one of my favourite all time writers who’s written several of my favourite books instead? Jen Lancaster is a best-selling American writer who is irreverent, very real and very, funny. She has written several books about her life: ‘Bright Lights, Big Ass,’ ‘Bitter is the New Black’ and ‘Such a Pretty Fat,’ are all favourites of mine and though I don’t always agree with her politics I love her take on life and her humour. I was recently beside myself with joy and extremely flattered when an American reviewer on Amazon compared my writing to hers… what a moment!

How flattering is that? You have us intrigued us now and I for one will be looking up Jen Lancaster. Before you leave us Sue and eat me out of house and home can you answer two fun questions?
Sweet or savoury and why?

Mmmm. The honest answer to that would be just ‘food.’ My current obsession with salted caramels and salty sweet popcorn probably straddles all aspects of taste (and decency?). But if I really had to choose it would probably be sweet. I adore chocolate, fresh cream cakes, biscuits, ice cream, hot chocolate fudge sauce… I will stop there or this may become the longest blog answer in the world ever!
Stop there, yes please else I’ll be dribbling all over this blog posting.

Finally If you were a cheese what kind of cheese would you be?
Full fat cream cheese covered in chocolate – obviously!
Sue, thank you so much for coming onto my blog, I have enjoyed it immensely.

Thank you so much for having me, this was great fun! xxx
To read more about Sue go to her blog here.
Better still join her on Facebook Sue Watson Books on Facebook
Or Twitter https://twitter.com/suewatsonwriterhttps://twitter.com/suewatsonwriter
 

Procrastination 2

I'm spending the next few days improving my blog... so please bear with me. My Blog Manager (who also happens to be my 14-year-old daughter) has abandoned her post to go shopping with friends so I have been left with this highly technical task.

Ok yes... you guessed it, I have discovered playing around with the technical 'bits' of my blog is yet another way of avoiding doing any real work! Hopefully next time you call I'll be decent!
Thanks for dropping by!

Procrastination, Coffee Cakes and Big, Rich Texas

So, I haven’t blogged for a while.  I’ve been deep in final edits for my second book and though I am the world’s most committed procrastinator – even I had to do some real work this time.

Completing a novel is bitter sweet. I can’t wait to share it, but I'll miss the world and the characters I've escaped to every day,  and there'll be a little book-shaped hole in my life until the next one. Anyway, ‘Younger, Thinner, Blonder,’ is due out in the Autumn (RickshawPublishing) and writing this book has been quite a ride, taking me (and my editor Jo) from Manchester to Nepal and back again!

As a writer I'm fascinated by the ‘real’ life of a celebrity, and working in TV I was able to see this in close-up. The press and public intrusion, the crazy headlines and the way celebrity life can cause someone to lose their grip on the truth is a scary watch. Being famous is often about hiding who you are so when the facade of fame slips, and there's no airbrushing, the truth can be sad, horrific and at times, hilarious. 'Younger, Thinner Blonder ' is about what it's really like to live in that world and through Tanya Travis,  talk show host and 'diva of daytime,' we see another side of  fame, success and a designer walk-in wardrobe. And none of it is quite what it seems.

And before you think I've gone all issue-lead and serious - don't worry, there’s also a reality show, a gay actor a sex-tape star, a couple of gorgeous guys and some very expensive shoes - yep, it’s so high brow it hurts!

I’m now contemplating my next novel and procrastinating once more while nibbling at old Easter eggs and stale hot cross buns. It’s exciting to wonder where the next book will take me? There’s a pile of cuttings on the kitchen table, a secret file called ‘Book 3’ on my computer and among the detritus of receipts, congealed sweets and old tissues in my handbag, there are other vital clues. As yet I don't know enough to begin, the pieces need to come together in my head first - and they will. In the meantime I can only wonder: Will my heroine be a film star or a hairdresser? Will she be married, single or complicated? Will she live and love in an oceanside beach house in Malibu or a Barratt Showhome in Salford? Who knows? I love this job - I have a golden ticket to a mystery destination, I don’t know where it is or the characters I'll travel with  - but I can’t wait!

So until I embark on that journey, there’s much procrastination to be done in the real world. It's vital that I watch (and am inspired by) the latest series of, ‘The Biggest Loser USA’ and it's a must to lust over the gilded decor and glitzy frocks in ‘Big Rich Texas.' I have shamefully neglected essential TV viewing while toiling over the book and these are just two of the many intellectual offerings on series link awaiting my consumption.

Telly Trash and a batch of freshly made coffee cakes - procrastination at it's finest - all cunningly disguised as writer’s research!

 

Coffee Fairy Cakes to Procrastinate with