A low calorie look at life, writing and cake.

Tuesday, 15 March 2011

Fat Girls and Creme Eggs

You don’t have to be fat, write or like cakes to read this – but it helps!

So this is the first day of the rest of my blog, but where to begin? The diet, the writing or the cakes?

But how can I even begin to ponder these things when there’s a Malteser Bunny in the fridge and a Creme Egg on the table? I really planned to write today, I have made a start on my second book, honestly - but it’s an uphill climb and the constant presence of shaped seasonal chocolate is giving me writer’s block. I sit in front of my flamingo pink laptop longing to fly but can think of little else but biting off the chunky malted chocolate ears and thrusting my tongue into thick, sweet eggy fondant.

The problem with pre-Easterness is that you HAVE to eat Malteser Bunnies and Creme Eggs because they’re not available after Easter. How twisted is that? When the clock strikes midnight on Easter Sunday, Creme Eggs and Malteser Bunnies everywhere are ripped from their shelves leaving girls like me bereft, Cinderella-like on the steps of the chocolate palace of Easter. And the pain from this abrupt termination of malted bunnies and cream eggs is anaesthetised only by the fact that Easter Sunday brings bigger egg-shaped chocolate gorgeousness to obliterate the bunny and his kin. However, this is short lived and waking with a chocolate hangover the day after that special Sunday cold turkey will surely set in. Oh yes, on Monday 25th April we’ll wake to remember with a pain in our hearts that the pre-Easter hiatus of malted chocolate bunny ears and rich cream fondant encased in a small chocolate egg will be lost for another year.

Take my advice, forget about the diet and the writing (and even the cake for a while) and trolley dash as many cream eggs and Malteser bunnies as you can, while you can. It’s later than you think!

If you want to know about more cake keep reading my blog - oh and my book Fat Girls and Fairy Cakes published by Rickshaw Publishing is out on July 8th.

On a serious note, I’m sure we are all deeply concerned for those people in Japan whose lives have been ruined by recent events. If you would like to donate or bid for a signed copy of Fat Girls and Fairy Cakes and the chance to be a named character in my second novel please go to Authors for japan.

So today is the first day of the rest of my blog – I have been thinking about blogging for some time and though I cannot even begin to compare myself with the hilarious Barrow Boy in London and don’t have the gravitas of Morton Gray – well one has to start somewhere, and every journey starts with the first step.


  1. Hi Sue,
    Great to see you blogging! We must put a date in the diary for May. Mx

  2. P.S. Thank you for listing me! Mx

  3. Hi Sue,
    Great Blog!
    As a traditionalist, creme eggs win it for me every time. I've spent years developing a tried and tested method of consuming them without looking like a two-year old eating a Magnum on a hot day.
    Tina x

  4. Hi Tina, Thanks. Love the idea of a melting Magnum, that is so descriptive - write it down for book three! I'm torn between the two but those bunnies are winning for me.

  5. So Morton what is it to be? I don't care that you've lost weight and don't want to think about chocolate near your lips... what is it? Creme Eggs or Malteser Bunnies?

  6. Not very keen on either! If I have to choose it is the creme egg. Mx